I Would Rather Be Ashes Than Dust.

Protecting my inner child. The one with the easy smile, bright wardrobe, and the one who is unashamedly in love with cars and a full belly.

Some days productivity and positivity sit on your doorstep. Today has been one of those days. 

I woke up naturally at 430am. I felt energized and ready to get my day rolling. So, I packed my backpack, started the coffee, and hit the door by 5am. "Luna", my personal getaway car, transported me into Littleton and parked me at Vasa.

As of the past two weeks, I've gotten back into the "5am Club". This honorary club consists of a mix of the Silver Sneakers, the "Meat-Heads", and the few daily grinders who are obviously still enjoying chocolate cake on the weekends. Today, I arrived to an empty gym and the scarcity of people made the gym feel like a playground to be enjoyed. I began with a fifteen minuet warm-up on the stair-master and then I did a leisurely "full body" lift for the remaining ninety minuets. I felt strong and inspired as I felt my heart rise and fall as I listened to a podcast. 

Following my playground lift, I did quick drive to my Auntie Angie's for our scheduled book club meeting. We wrapped up our reading of "Freakanomics" and stayed mostly on topic. One of the most interesting conversations that was prompted was by the question of, "If you were told today that you only had year to live, would your life change?". The responses were varied around the table, but they all boiled down to the idea that life is short and that we should be living each moment doing what we love with the people that we love. 

This conversation reminded me of a quote that I love which speaks of the passion that I hope to live each day with; it is, "“I would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather my spark burn out in a brilliant blaze than be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom in magnificent glow – than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not merely exist…I shall use my time.”. This quote is by the American Novelist Jack London and it as if he reached into the cosmos of my heart and pulled out this gem. 

I want to be alive. I want to burn. I want to be superb. I want to use my time. 

One of my greatest fears in life is to live an unrealized life. To live a life were I settle or that I conduct my life out of fear and resignation to the status quo. I want to turn each stone and address the questions of life. I want to drink deeply of what the world has to offer, but not in a way that is grasping. No, instead I want to indulge in the now. To see the beauty that is all around me. I want to burn in each moment. To be sensitive to each moment and soak in the divinity and goodness that is around me. 

To do this, I must protect my inner child. To shelter the child inside of me that still sees every opportunity to play and explore. Because, as Nietzsche said “A man’s maturity is to have regained the innocence of a child at play.”.

So, go play. Enjoy life without needing the "one year to live" countdown.